I read all the comments that are left on my posts. I might not reply, but I really do, and for the most part, they’re really interesting to read and I’m glad that what I write can compel you to share your opinion. I write a lot on the topic of emotions and relationships and I’ve noticed that a large portion of the comments are left by females. One can assume that a lot of ppl who follow me are girls, or only girls take the time to read & and write comments, and while those explanations do have merit, I think it’s something else…
Women are tougher than men. Yes, both physically and emotionally. This conclusion comes from observing my mother (and many other mothers of their immigrant generation), and by looking at the girls who’ve shaped my personal life. Reading some of the comments left by females further confirm this and compelled me to write about it.
PHYSICALLY – Beyond opening jars
I won’t spend too long on the physical comparisons. This isn’t about who can bench press more weight (although I’ve definitely been out squat and cruched by a girl heh), but I actually think girls are stronger than they allow themselves to be. (I totally encourage girls to not be afraid of that.) Physical pain is also a good test of one’s toughness, and this part of the debate ends with the fact that girls have to deal w/ a monthly visitor most of their life and go through labor. I can’t imagine men dealing with those things any better to be honest, regardless of how much more I can curl than them.
EMOTIONALLY – Guys are emotional messes too
So the conversation continues into emotional toughness, which I believe women take by a landslide. The knee jerk reaction might be to think this is totally false because, women cry and have breakdowns and are “too sensitive” etc, but I’d argue that men feel all those things (we’re all human), and actually manifest those emotions in much more detrimental ways. There are large scale indications of this just by looking at society. More men leave their families, more single parent homes are just the mother, more men commit adultery than women, most of the time it’s men who have “commitment issues”. My theory is that men can’t take pressure as well as women. They’d rather run from problems and they lash out and act irrationally when they can’t figure out their emotions. (remember my very first sentence?) When things aren’t going right in life, when faced with real challenges, women step up and hold their ground and are more willing to compromise for the overall good. When obstacles mess everything up, they are able to dig deep and pull themselves out (even if it is just a front) while guys stereotypically mask the problems or are too weak to make changes.
This is where the comments of my blog come in. I write a lot of about uncertainty in love/relationships, about being afraid, and even specially TO men about commitment issues… and it’s funny that it’s girls who are responding with their own experiences of believing in love, trusting their man, pushing and working to make a relationships last even if it’s not right. And the men? Crickets. I’m a dude sharing my dude problems, why are girls giving me advice?? It’s not the same. Let’s talk dudes! But a guy’s comments/thoughts are few and far between. Why? 1, Pride? We might not want to admit our faults/struggles because it makes us look bad. 2, Guys don’t think about this much and therefore don’t even realize there’s a problem. 3, Yeah, maybe I just really have no guys wanting to read about relationships (although I really think guys should read because… yo, I keep it real here. I’m not feeding romantic fairy tales or anything)
MATERNALLY SPEAKING – Nothing stronger
I think about my mother, and all the sacrifices she made in her life and her aspirations to fit my father’s needs, and ultimately my family’s. This is not the life she imagined for herself, but she loves her children, she is mentally grounded, and she’s made it work for the last 30+ years. Not saying my father is weak (he has definitely kept up his part of the “deal” with his own sacrifices), but I will always be amazed by a mother’s love. Several of my previous girlfriends were from single family homes where the mom held up the family after the father left/divorced. Thinking about this makes me very emotional, and further impressed/grateful that incredible girls were able to rise from that missing male figure. That strength was then applied to me as well, when they were able to stand stronger than me when we faced significant challenges. I guess that was the true reason behind this tweet last year…
EVERYTHING ELSE… no contest
I won’t even get into the societal pressures and gender issues they have to deal with in media/the workplace/everywhere. There’s nothing I need to (or should have to) explain or convince in that area.
Anyway, this has gone on long enough. I wonder how many men will speak up to disagree.. boys, your silence will only confirm what I say. jk… really though, I hope I haven’t offended anyone who grew up with an incredible single father, or a guy who held down his relationships like a true man (that’s another post, one that’ll praise boys). This post was in no way meant to talk down on men, instead it was to uplift and give credit to girls. I’m not saying women don’t cheat and women don’t do terrible things to good people.. All humans are weak in a variety of ways, but girls… the older we all get, the more I’m constantly amazed by you.