3 Me’s, 1 Life

As you might be able to discern from the past year of blog posts, I’ve been going through a weird time. “Post-twenties”. “Decade transition”. “Growing up.. but for real this time because I said that at the beginning of my 20s“. I’m definitely not trying to hide my confusion and desire to make sense of as much as I can. I recently realized a major cause of this “uncomfortableness” is the fact that I’m actually 3 different people. And each of them what different things, causing them to fight internally with each other everyday.

1. “Wong Fu” Phil

Somewhere along the way I became a “personality”. I never grew up wanting this, I still don’t necessarily need it.. but it’s become my life, and part of my history even if I were to disappear and stop today. This version of me is the largest part and has the most influence.. and therefore causes most of the problems. It’s because of wongfu-phil that I’ve experienced some of the best things, and the worst. Immense payoff and immense pressure. He’s complicated my life the most. Exposing me to things that I normally wouldn’t have, and therefore causing me to sometimes feel entitled or have expectations that aren’t necessarily reasonable. Producing temptations that I’ve fought off, and failed to resist, twisting and turning my life year to year. It’s hard for me to explain this completely but, can you imagine if you had the ability to reach millions of people today. What would you do? What would you not do? How would you change? I never asked for these choices, but it’s unavoidable in my position and I feel like I’m handling this personality as best a regular guy can. Not completely going off the edge, but still struggling to maintain my true self.. which is closest to…

2. “High school friends” Phil

This is the person I was before Wong Fu came into my life, before I had any idea I even liked writing or visual story telling. I was a clean slate and a direct product of my family, the girls who rejected me, my friends in school, and the media I was exposed to. Funny, all those things still amounted to an unusually emotional, nostalgic guy (how I was nostalgic even at 17 is hilarious to me, but I was), who was just discovering his creative side. I enjoyed dancing and performing, I used my family’s camcorder whenever I could, and I began writing in journals. When I see my high school friends now, WF is not a main focus or even talked about, and it gives me a glimpse at what my life would be like if I went through my twenties with a “regular” job. Not one that was dependent on views, likes, influencing, and comments. Instead one that was just about your group of friends, consuming entertainment, enjoying hobbies just for the sake of it, and taking trips to Hawaii just cause. That guy, still the 16 yr old, wanted certain things when he was in high school. I remember what I imagined life and relationships to someday be like… and it’s definitely not how things turned out, because WF came into the picture.

3. “Family” Phil

This version is sorta related to #2, but the difference is that this Phil is heavily influenced by society and the media I grew up on. Family sitcoms, comic strips like Foxtrot and Calvin, and Beverley Cleary books, all gave me this really fun and ideal image of an all American family. One that celebrates holidays together, takes fun road trips, has a big warm house with a white picket fence, and shares heartfelt moments; everything I wanted to emulate. This is where I’m suppose to be right? Adding to all that is my sister who has literally achieved everything just mentioned. And being only 1 year older than me, every visit home is a reminder of how far I’ve left to go.. and how far I’ve veered from the image I was supposed to chase. Being a husband, being a father.. that “what’s next” right? But is it a problem if I now see this life as something only attainable if “WFPhil” changes drastically?

So here I am, daily, feeling like I’m at a 3-pronged fork in the road. I generally feel like I’ve already chosen my road (#1), but the other two are still relatively close by, running slightly parallel to me. I could hop on over if I really wanted, but soon, I’m afraid they’ll be veering further and further away. But I never want “fear” to be what drives me to choose a path. So who wins in the end? Can all three of them coexist and get what they want? Will the paths meet at some point? Maybe I need to cut and pave and force them to? I suppose that’s the ultimate goal and the ultimate reward. And I suppose it takes a lifetime to complete.


49 thoughts on “3 Me’s, 1 Life

  1. So… Welcome to the life of a person in their late 20’s/early 30’s, Phil. It’s funny, because I’ve been running into the same situation as you. I keep wondering how life would be if I stayed in Toronto, stayed on the path that I was “supposed” to. I see my friends in Toronto and think about how life would’ve been if I hadn’t got up, packed 2 suitcases, and started a “new life” in San Francisco. Honestly, I think all 3 You’s can co-exist — they might be running in parallel, but they may converge one day in the future. Of course you’re going to think “what if” — but seriously, what’s the point of that? You’re just going to mull over it, and it’ll lead you down a rabbit hole of things you cannot change. You’re not the only person that has the 3 You’s. Some people might even have 4 or 5. (Hopefully not 10.)

    What I’m trying to say is this: You’re not the only person who’s confused. A lot of people are at an intersection. Even the people who look like they “got their shit together” might be wondering how their life would’ve been if they went down another path. My best friend is the opposite of me: married, living in the suburbs, living with a mortgage with a dog. I’m the total opposite: single, living in a “big city”, and wondering whether or not I’ll be living in another city in the next 6 months.

    It’s just life. We’re living it. It’s the unknown.

    And guess what? Everything will be fine.
    Because everything happens for a reason. As cliché as it sounds, everything happens for a reason — you might not see it now, but it’ll make sense later. Trust me. We’re all in this confusion together. 😛

    1. I believe everything happens for a reason too! Each decision we make each step we take is completing a missing puzzle which in the end it will all work out fine! It may not be in the order how we would like it to be, life isn’t a race, so enjoy the ride and every single moment of fulfilling the missing pieces 🙂

    2. It’s hard to have the ideals of all these paths, but if you truly desire it, you could try to attain paths 2 and 3 that you haven’t fully explored yet because of path 1. Don’t be afraid to pursue the paths you want to walk on ’cause it’s not like the success of Wongfu depends solely on your undivided devotion to it right? I think your true friends and fans will support you in whatever you seek to achieve, at least I will. 🙂

      1. Er, what I’m saying is that Wongfu won’t collapse entirely if you divert some of your attention to your personal life. Adding to that, these things may come naturally later on as well! Don’t worry about it too much buddy ^^

    3. First, you said you wanted more (nice) guys to talk to so *ta-da!* (after some 3 weeks of hesitation after first finding your blog)

      I recently have been catching up on your hundreds of videos and noticed how when you first moved to LA, there were a few things you disliked about it.
      You mentioned how you felt like everyone was faking it till they made it, and the huge amount of ego among the smog. While Ted and Wes were still getting used to the camera, you were by far the first to embrace it, and the blogging experience seemed like it came naturally.
      However, while Wes and Ted eventually did warm up to the camera more, they grew and knew who and what they wanted to be more (in an extent). While you had this fun, loud, happy persona, I had no idea before reading your blogs that the quieter, calmer side within you was struggling.
      The balancing of the the masks are tough right? I know because I’ve adopted many persona’s early on depending on my environments. Sometimes I get sloppy with my masks and end up offending those that think they know me.
      If people only know one side of you, then getting truly intimate and relaxed is hard. You’d always be on your guard. Ted was always happy-catty Ted. Wes was always happy-thinking Wes. If Phil isn’t happy party, loud, joyous Phil then don’t be, express you emotions in another way.
      I think that as hard as it may be, dropping the you that you don’t like is okay. If you’re sick of constantly smiling at a job in Disneyland, you quit right? That doesn’t mean you still can’t have fun and smile at Disney. Likewise, if you are just not in the mood to be the WongFuPhil, then don’t for a day. It might be *very* uncomfortable at first and unnatural for you to be natural, but this is about you, and this is your life. You deserve to live the life you want and be happy.

      Have fun, Phil and good luck! If you’re still kinda confused I guess you can blame Psyduck.

      Jason Chan

  2. I think there is a blessing in disguise in there. To have 3 “me’s” in 1 life just goes to show how complex and multi-faceted a person you truly are. You have been moulded and carved out carefully by all the things you’ve ever planned or never planned to happen, and now stand as an intricate product of life’s vissicitudes. I guess that’s what growing up is all about.

    Don’t mull over the life you were “supposed” to have, because that’s obviously not what God planned for you if you still haven’t got it yet. The grass is always greener on the other side- enjoy the Philip that you are now, because you just do not know how many people out there are dying to be like you.

  3. Cheer up Phil! i know it must be hard. I mean, I can imagine it at least. can’t say I know since I’m not someone who’s followed by a million fans everyday. but Ted is doing it! He’s balancing out Wong Fu plus a “family” with his wife. he’s living proof that you can choose to be all 3 Phils at once. and plus, there’s no set “timeline” for when you need to start a family and live the “american” family household life. you keep doing you! your time will come! hey, if it was that easy, then you wouldn’t have the baselines for all your shorts right? :b

  4. Hey there! I think more important than the roads converging is whether or not you really want the other roads to coexist on your current road right now. We all have visions of what we theoretically want. Especially if you grew up wanting something, imagining your life a certain way, and then you see other people living your “perfect” life, it makes you want it even more. Try to remove all of those factors and ask yourself if that’s what YOU want right now or in the near future.

    Also, I do sincerely believe that those three roads can and will eventually merge naturally. Rather than leading different lives, I think we all slowly mature into individuals who juggle different facets simultaneously in our one life.

    Don’t rush for the picket fence! If that’s what you genuinely want it will happen naturally one day. For now, enjoy your different roads, play your different roles, and seize your opportunities to experience perhaps even more yous; it’ll be the most rewarding and effective way to discover yourself and who you ultimately want to be!

  5. Hello Phil,

    Where do I start..

    I think sometimes you can be hard on yourself and I think it’s because you’re self aware and analytical, this keeps you grounded. Your feelings are definitely valid and I can honestly say the struggle with identity is familiar and relatable. The struggle I face is not knowing where I fit. Don’t get me wrong I know myself quite well but there’s so much layer and facets within ourselves and our environment. The journey is figuring it all out. I often ask myself which part is really me? Is this who I want to be? Am I steering away from who I used to be or who I saw myself being?

    I believe we all wear masks in a way, sometimes to get through the day, sometimes to hide and sometimes it’s to show case the best part of us or who we want to be.

    I can only imagine what it must feel like to have so much pressure from such a vast amount of fan base. Expectation. Criticism. Love. I would imagine that what you’re feeling is also heightened by everyone’s exuding emotions from the comments they leave. Up, down, fleeting. A roller-coaster of feelings.

    In terms of who you are of the three, I’d say that if you can still recognise those sides of you, then each part are still ingrained. Perhaps balancing each other. Each part have played a role in being a past, present and future but are also interchangeable. You may feel like a “fraud” but when I read your blogs your honesty is what makes you real and humbling and I think that’s what draws people to you. It’s not just the idea of “Wong fu Phil.” I guess not knowing you IRL (IN REAL LIFE) I can hardly say I know you and I guess we only see you based on your “media self.” However something you may not recognise is that we as “fans” have watched you grow and seen your mannerisms, personality through your wongfu weekends, shorts, isatv, press conferences and blogs etc. We may not know all of who you are and you may be conflicted with all of who you are but we can see that you are a good guy trying to figure it out.

    Thank you for your humanistic conversations.

    Best regards,

  6. Phil,
    Thank you. I feel similarly.
    But I’ve never been one person. I’m Viet/Flip and grew up whitewashed in Colorado anyway. My friends aren’t even always people who get along when they are together. I go from wild and crass to demure and clean cut pretty easily.
    I have found that the real me is the apex of all of these things. The sister. The singer. The writer. The teacher. For me – not to be cheesy, but, really – I found myself at the center of my paths. I’m always trying to balance roads, but ultimately, this center is where I have to be and I work to be here.
    Maybe one day you’ll find the same. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you simply need a new path altogether. No matter what, I think you’ll probably be beyond okay.
    I mused on this more for my own benefit, but if it somehow helps you, I am glad. I’ve been watching your shorts since “Yellow Fever” and have always liked the WF personalities.

  7. Hi Phil

    I would exactly feel the same way you are feeling if I was in my early 30’s. I’m 22 and my dream is to have my own family like you mentioned, to have my own car, a house and to be a loving mother but I want to accomplish all these before I turn 30 yrs old. The thing is I have never had a boyfriend, cause I was very shy as a teen. Nowadays I always go out to have fun and try to meet people. I don’t understand why I am single. I’m a registered nurse, I have a job. I don’t get it. It’s just life. If your always busy working how are you going to meet the person out there for you.

    Anyways I hope you find your Queen. She will be a very lucky girl to have you by her side, cause you seem like a genuine nice guy.

  8. I think it all comes naturally and with time. I never had a boyfriend (I’m almost 25) it just feels like I’ve been always busy with classes and traveling and internships and everything. My brother is really close to me so maybe I didn’t feel the need to go out with guys really. But the way I see it, I don’t think your career or your other versions of you will get in the way of the life you want to have, those are complements, and maybe you weren’t going to be so happy if you had those things now. I think it’s only with time, and until that someone comes into your life, then you’ll be ready. I believe God only prepares what’s best for us, and sometimes his plans turn out to be more exciting then our versions.

    I know some guys who think they are late in the game and they have to have a family and they are ready to get married with the first available girl for the sake of being married. But they miss something very important. It’s such a big thing in one’s life, it deserves to be taken seriously and it shouldn’t happen with the first available person they meet. It should be with “the one” when the time comes, and if it’s going to happen later in life, so be it, as long as they are happy. Look at George Clooney, well it’s a depressing example, look at Benedict Cumberbatch, he got married at 38. I think there is hope for all of us lol. ( okay sorry for the last one haha)

    1. Too many people end up losing someone special because they always think “Oh, well so-and-so told me not to get married too young, not to invest too much time into the first girls I meet or fall in love with”. People shouldn’t date for decades to find “the one”. That’s just being promiscuous and stupid.

  9. Hi Philip, I’ve met you once before briefly at a Wong Fu event….I really liked this post. It was a great peek into your self-perspective and your life. I think it’s amazing that Wong Fu has become such a big part of your life but it’s equally amazing and important that you have an inner personal life that is just icing on the cake. I’ve been watching your videos for years now and they never fail to brighten up my day! Have more fan events in LA! I would love to meet you again or even be friends. I wish you the best! I know you’ll do great things in the future.

  10. geez. get over yourself. who the hell still watches any wong fu video? “high school” phil? gtfoh. grow up. everything you mentioned is true for everybody. you ain’t that famous bruh.

    1. Lol, why do you have to put him down? He’s just sharing his emotions, and just because it might be true for a ton of people doesn’t make it any less important for him. And although being famous is subjective, I’m pretty sure WongFu is somewhat famous especially because they’ve been referred to as the leaders of Asian America in media. They have a ton of influence and are helping the community grow which is awesome! I think that makes them at least a little famous 🙂 Also, the fact that Phil can lay down his thoughts this clearly means that he has grown up!

      Anyways, my point is that putting someone down for sharing their thoughts isn’t very kind. But no one really has an obligation to be kind, it’s just a bro thing to do.

      I hope you have an awesome day!

      1. whatever man. ya’ll can be a bunch of bitches and whine about shit that don’t matter. this “Phil” guy thinks there’s 3 of him? it’s called life. we all have diff obligations to diff aspects of our life. just sick of wong fu crap. i’m done.

  11. why did you close the comment function of the last post? again it is something you write about that i can realte to╮(╯▽╰)╭ have talked about that topic with a friend 4 or 5 years ago. now somehow i can see it from the other perspective as in that conversation i was at your position, and did not quite get what he meant to me. it is interesting how people grow, change and realize the things that they did not get, and still go back to the same topics again and again (of course with new thoughts) which mean something or a lot to them.
    thank you phil!! your blog makes me think and rethink a lot, and recall the important things that you slowly forget/ignore over time. reading your blogs makes me relize again how important it is to talk to someone face to face, or at least chat onlie. reading is a good way to understand people, but hard to respond.

    1. why is it 10.38 pm…. now it is 0.39 am on the first day of july~~~~~~ the second half year of 2015~ can not believe the time really passes so fast

      1. will read this post another day~~ reading a whole bunch of english texts in the night is sometimes exhausting XD

  12. Hello Phil,

    I just recently started looking into your blog and I am already captured by it. To me it has always been a struggle to truly express my thoughts the way they kind of make sense in my head. As soon as they leave my brain they just become this chaotic bowl of spagetthi or something. That’s why I am so impressed by your ability to bring your thoughts to paper, in a way that is understandable and makes sense. I probably shouldn’t be surprised as you have clearly demonstrated this ability through your WongFu videos. But reading the actual thought process of somebody without the pictures, the actors, the storyline touches me in a different way. So I just want to say thank you for writing this blog and giving us these private insights. I feel like they help me make more sense of my life and grasp my own thoughts as I recognize some of my own struggles. Even though I am “only” 24, I feel as if time is running out and I need to find the perfect job and have my own family asap. It is frightening as well as reassuring that you are still going through the same things. But I really do hope that you will find your place, your love, your path and the life that combines all three Phils in one. Until then, don’t think too much about the future and where you “should” be (according to society, familiy, friends..) and just live your life as it is: in the moment, in the here and now and savor as much as you can.

    Greetings from Germany

  13. Hey Phil,

    I’m ten years younger than you so you should probably take this with a grain of salt, but isn’t searching for who you really are part of living life. I mean maybe all those 3 Phils are you. As for me I know I act differently will different groups of people, but sometimes it just gets hard to tell which are fake personalities and which are real. Just by living life though, we slowly filter out who we are and who we want to be.

    As we live and look back we see that everything is different, but nothing has changed. This is just how life is, so keep on moving forward Phil, good things are sure to happen.


  14. We’ll all be happy to see the transition to one wholehearted Phil. It probably won’t be as drastic to anyone else as it seems to you. It’s not a change for attention, but for sanity.

  15. As most people said, I think this is something that many struggle with. We often have many identities, the work identity, the family identity, and the friends identity. Even among friends, different group of friends bring out different personalities. Sometimes it makes me wonder….is that still my “authentic” self. The answer is yes. With different group of people, I act differently, but the one thing that doesn’t change is my principles. For example, regardless of whom I hang out with, I would never purposely hurt someone. If I do, then I don’t think I am my true self. (Hahaha unless my true true self is really evil. In that case, I hope to never be my true true self.)

    The three roads that you describe sounds like two to me. There is the Wongfuphil who wants to grab/create opportunities for a fun and successful career. Then there is the family/friends Phil who wants to be a “regular” guy. You may not be able to have both, but you certain can try to balance it so that both roads run in parallel, if that’s what you want. Perhaps for now, being WongfuPhil alone is enough. Or perhaps being WongfuPhil for 10 months a year is enough. Who says you can’t be WongfuPhil today and be HS Phil tomorrow. Being family Phil is hard as it requires a lot more work and sacrifices. Maybe you’ll find someone who will walk with you on the WongfuPhil’s path. For me, I try to choose my path that I would regret not taking more. Which ever road you choose, on whatever day, I hope you never forget to have fun and enjoy the walk 🙂

  16. Hey Phil,

    I’m 33 years old and still having the same struggle as you…all the “What ifs”
    I was taken down a demanding career path all too rapidly and before you know it, I now have a career but have not achieved all the dreams that ‘high school me” desired.
    I honestly think it is not possible to have it all. You have to prioritize, decide what is important to YOU and go for that.

    For me, my career was not supposed to have been the aim of my life. I desired travel, living in another city, a loving partner, marriage, kids. A few years ago, I put that first and now although I cannot achieve all that I wanted to achieve in my 20’s, I’m making the best of my situation in my 30’s.

    Good luck with whatever road you decide to take. Just make sure it’s what you want.

  17. Hi Phil,

    When I was just a little girl
    I asked my mother, “what will I be?
    Will I be pretty, will I be rich?”
    Here’s what she said to me

    “Que sera, sera
    Whatever will be, will be
    The future’s not ours to see
    Que sera, sera
    What will be, will be.”

    Why this song? Well, because I suck at giving advice hahahah (ok gosh hopefully I don’t suck at choosing songs too)

    Have a good day, Sir!


  18. Reading your blog posts throughout the years made me wonder if there’s a fourth you hidden somewhere, especially when you’re left alone with your deep, dark thoughts. Hi Phil! It’s been a long long while since I last dropped by here.

    I guess the winner at the end of this chase is not path #1, #2;, or #3, but rather, you. Who says all 3 of them can’t co-exist? You hold the pen to your life’s story, and ultimately creating your own happy ending. It may not happen right now, but you never know where life is gonna lead you. One day in the future, you might be sitting in your big warm house, enjoying the view of your white picket fence, while telling your children a story about three very lost Phil(s).

    This post might had been written differently if you chose to direct your focus on path #2 and #3 instead. We are all prone to ask “what if?” after all. As long as you follow your heart, and love what you do, there’s no need to look back with regrets. A lifetime might seem like a “forever”, but if you’re happy, forever can never be too long 😉

  19. I admire your bravery to explore who you are on multiple levels. It shows a high level of emotional intelligence. I think you are being your true self, which is hard to do knowing how your multiple identities exist in one person. I will pray that you can find what you’re looking/longing for. It sounds like you really want a family, totally understandable. I will pray that you can expand your roots and grow the Wang family tree.

  20. Oh dear! Here we go…Simple, your letting that fiction, fantasy life of yours wrap up in reality. This goes back to your old blog reality becomes fiction …. Fiction becomes reality. Imagined if she never got away… And you fell in love, started a family these blogs would never exist. Go, find her! Stop waiting! She is the KEY to these unanswered blogs post. If you ask… It’s simple, SHE IS THE KEY to your future.

  21. Phil, I just wonder do you happy with the you of “Wong Fu” Phil now? somehow I could feel there’s ‘something’ into this part of your life. Actually, I facing the same thing in my life (I am not sure, but I do feel the same). The me that I feel happy but at a same time it’s make me feel suffer. I’m struggle the time being… why it’s happen to me? Indeed, it’s become part’s of my life now. So, I wonder… what were you in “Wong Fu” Phil now … at this stage you will still continue be “wongfu” Phil”? I could see how successful “wong fu” phil now .. but do you happy? Sorry for interrupt~ but I am struggle with my life now, A life I could feel happy sometimes… but it’s make me feel suffer sometimes. A life that unrealistic to me.

  22. The way I see it, there’s no 3 of you. There’s only one of you. I mean I know you already know this and perhaps it will defeat the purpose of this post but, there is only one Phil. A better Phil, Maybe this Phil is “Wong Fu Phil”, but for me this is largely influenced by the “high school Phil”.Didn’t all those journals ,rejections etc influenced a lot of skits or videos you guys make? And I think even if you choose to have a normal job you’d still be the same Phil as you are today minus Wong Fu Productions. But I bet there will be this blog that reaches a lot of audience and has a way of impacting a lot of people. And the family Phil, I bet that even if you choose to be a.banker or something you will still be at the same spot as where you are.

    I mean , it’s not the time or schedule maybe it’s merely that you are not yet ready.you may not realize that but someone higher knows that. And I think the fact that you think you have to give up something or that you’re in a 3 pronged something is a clear sign of this.

    Do you believe in God? I am not religious but I do. And I believe in “God’s Best”, yours is out there being perfected for YOU. In God’s perfect time.

    P.s. I am really bad at this, so my point might not even get across , but hey I tried. 🙂

  23. I don’t know about the rest but I quite like “Philosopher” Phil.

    When you think about it, life is like those “Choose your own adventure” gamebook. How do you play it? I would get stuck picking then decide to cheat by reading the different paths first before settling on the path to choose. I lose the thrill of enjoying my own adventure and basically miss the whole point of the book. The same can be said for life. Too often we spend time wondering about “what if”s. Maybe there is no “what if”s. We just have to suck it up and do the leap of faith and believe in what we chose. You’ll enjoy the ride more than if you keep dwelling on “what if”s.

    To answer your question, yes paths do converge ultimately. If you really want your path to shift to #3, it will slowly unfold in front of you. Or maybe you can just pick up a pen and write it in your gamebook. You write your own ending to your life story.

  24. Hi Phil! *waves* I’ve been a big fan of Wong Fu’s work for several years now, but I only stumbled across your blog this week. I read a lot of blogs, yet very very rarely comment, so it feels strange to do so now! I just really related to a lot of the posts you’ve written here and found myself re-reading and mulling over some of the themes over the past few days so I decided I had to come back and leave a note of some kind. Despite the fact that I’m positive that pretty much everything I thought of to say you’ve already heard! (because I just read many of them above!) So I’ll spare you the repetition. 🙂 Still, it’s rather cliche, but one of my favorite sayings is “shared joy is double joy and shared sorrow is half sorrow.” It seems to me that’s a big reason why the stories you guys tell have resonated with so so many people, least of all myself. So thank you for sharing, through Wong Fu and you blog. I hope you get as much out of it as all of your fans do. Just know there’s one more person that will be reading your posts from lurkerdom who appreciates your thoughts!

  25. I think each personality/role or so doesn’t have to take away from your true self… it is just facets of you as an individual. Each has aspects of it that you like. It’s normal for people to adopt different roles when dealing with work, friends and family and/or at different stages in their life. You can still be the husband/dad/boyfriend/son who takes spontaneous holidays while still creating creative material with Wongfu. Question is finding the right balance. Not easy but I think it is possible. Plus, different things will matter to you at different junctures in your life. 🙂

  26. Wow, I love how you interpreted the movie and sadness’ role in the movie so differently from how I saw it. It’s very interesting how you said it, and very true as well. Everyone gets a turn. How I’ve always said it to myself was that “tables turn”. Someone who is going through immense joy in their lives may someday encounter tragedy, and vice versa. No single moment is forever, and it’s always ups and downs. When life is good, cherish it. When life is bad, wait for it pass. I also wrote a blog post on Inside Out, this Pixar movie really touched me in a personal way too. The moment hit me when Joy had the epiphany that Sadness had to co-exist with her and at that moment, I wondered why it had to be that way. If you have some spare time from your Wongfu activities, check it out!


  27. In a way, family-phil and high school-phil have allowed you to become the “wong fu-phil”. Wong fu-phil just has more responsibilities towards a larger audience. And that’s ok. 🙂 I don’t really know you but something tells me that wong fu-phil won’t let down the other 2 phils either…so this is all ok.

  28. Hello! Hope you read my comment since you’ve posted this like 4 months ago hm. I think in life people might have many personalities when they are in different situation, I mean such as when they are facing their families, works, friends, old friends, new people, even themselves. I am raised as an Asian like you, and unlike you, I grew up in an Asian country. I learned from people around me, that they came out with different personality in each situation. Maybe it’s kinda weird in your country, but not in my country, that you really feel like you have many different scenarios in one life. I feel like that too, though I’m not start my twenty yet. I feel I have many different me, when I’m facing my uni friends, high school friends, families, and even myself. Honestly, sometimes I really enjoy when I’m alone, because I can be the ‘real me’ somehow. Hmmm maybe you need a ‘me’ time, like to figure out what have you reach, and be grateful for what you have today, to not regreting your choice in the first place. Because what is happen now, happen for a reason and just go with it, just believe that at the end of the street there will be a future that waiting for you. Hahahahaha sometimes you need a little life escape from reality, maybe it could make you better 🙂

  29. Having just discovered your blog, for some reason I still felt compelled to write a comment on this post (something I would rarely do) since it covers a topic that seems relatable. Although I can’t really say I’ve exposed all my emotions for thousands of people in the world through media, I can’t really imagine how difficult it is to feel like you have to live up to the expectations of your viewers. However, the life experiences that have manifested through Wong Fu are those that many cannot say they have experienced themselves. Yes, there may be obligations and pressures attached, but I’m sure you would not trade the past 15 or so years for the world. “Family Phil” is something that I could relate to a bit more, as I begin to enter the age period of engagements/marriages/children. I had always had this cookie-cutter vision of what my life would be like around this time, and frankly, my current life is far from it. If there’s anything I’ve learned in the past, it’s that life is full of uncertainty. All we really can do is make the best of it, create memories that we can look back on (both good and bad), and push on to the next phase of life.

    Your personality and identity are not something that I can wholeheartedly state I understand, being that we are complete strangers to each other, but it’s just a reminder of a common human struggle. A common internal battle that we’re constantly desiring to solve, but is not an easy matter to create an end to. I don’t believe you have to choose one “Phil” versus the other, I think they could all possibly co-exist someday; it’s just a matter of what would be prioritized first. I’m in no way of trying to minimize this into a science, strategy, or any sort of advice, but rather just a discussion about life perspective. I do think each “Phil” is going to predominate more in certain parts of your life, and it’s ultimately up to you as to which will take priority first. I find it so disappointing if people always felt like they had to choose one passion or goal over the other; is it not possible to do it all? Is it so far fetched to have a significant other who would support your endeavors at Wong Fu Productions while still being willing to start a family with you and share that white picket fenced home? Is it too forward to imagine venturing into a line of work outside of Wong Fu Productions that you may also feel just as passionate about? Is it unfair to block that possibility out of your life, just because you feel the pressure to put 100% into Wong Fu? Not saying you have to drop everything that you’ve done for that company, but you’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t try something that’s out of your comfort zone.

    I do hope that one day, all these detached identities could find some cohesiveness.

    Side note: huge fan of all your shorts and your film. Definitely have seen some that were way too close to home (relived many memories watching them), and extremely shocked that people could put emotions that I have felt wholeheartedly into film. Thank you for being so open in sharing your stories.

  30. Hi Phil! Just another anonymous person here that just discovered your blog.

    (First of all, this is my first time commenting my opinion on anything in the net. Not really fond of attention and all.)

    I can really relate to your situation. I`ve spent the past 5 years building my business with, at an extreme point, zero to minimal interaction with (HS/College) friends and family. And I`ve stumbled upon this quite-similar-to-your “quarter life” crisis. I was thinking, what if I became a writer, or a marine biologist, or what if I pursue an accounting job (I graduated accounting CPA and never practiced it.), how would my life be like?

    I can`t really tell that I had it figured out, but I just accepted this as normal. Having this lifestyle is my new normal. Aiming to achieve these “intersections” is really hard. Yes, there are/will be compromises. Just do, in the utmost power you have, what you can and believe is most important. Not what is important to the standards of society, but what is important to the standards of YOU.

    So, if others did this or is giving this much time or presence, please don`t compare yourself to them. You are different. Therefore, acting your three “Phil`s” can be different as well. There are ways to fill the roles, but it is not necessarily the same way all the time (compared to other people). You are really creative. I know you can find other ways.

    SO much for nagging. I hope you find what you are looking for. You are a great influencer. And I hope you continue to be a light to your team and to the world.

  31. You see Phil, they say „the grass is greener at the other side of the fence”. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages – the life of your friends you see (no 2) when you meet them is only one side of the coin. I wound’t be surprised if you found out that to some extent they envy your WFPil’s life. Having your own business requires sacrifices, as actually you never have a time „off”, constantly thinking of the business running/expanding/continuity.
    In many cases life is a trade-off – either career or personal life. It’s feasible to balance both, but it requires support from your spouse/partner and much determination to be willing to balance them. I believe co-existence a „Family Phil” and „WFPhil” is really attainable, but there is a prerequisite for it – you really need to be positive and determined for them to exist. And that’s the biggest challenge for everyone – how to balance private and professional life? How to set priorities right and mange them every day? Both will require compromises, but in the end they both can be really rewarding. It’s „just” the matter of priorities and management….easy to say, harder to make. But yet, think about it – fame fades, careers break, jobs are changed, your hard work can be recognized and appreciated or rejected and criticized, (regardless if you’re Phil no 1 or Phil no 2) so what’s left? I would say that Phil no 3 – the family type , as family is supposed to be the focal & core point that is unchangeable (as you can make all your videos you made so far private and you can just disappear from YT, as some frequently-viewed YTs did in the past , and you can put „WFPhil” into „non-existence”), your family will be there for you.

    As much as I believe Phil no 1 (2) and 3 can perfectly exist, I think that „WFPhil” and „high school friends Phil” cannot. It’s either of the two, provided that WFPhil is treated as business and the only source of income. Once Phil no 1 becomes merely an addition to Phil no 2 (e.g. as a steppingstone to a „regular job”, a hobby) , only then all three Phils can become one. It’s just the matter of choice….as everything in life. You have many roles to play in life- husband, co-worker, brother, friend, son, boss, partner…so don’t narrow yourself down to just a few. Think of what is the most important for you and set your priorities right..compriomises and sacrifices will have to be made, but at least you’d have the feeling that you’re acting according to your inner values. And don’t try to compare yourself to others(I know it’s very hard) as there will be always pple happier than you, but also less lucky and fortunate ones. Live your life the way you would like it to be lived (or at least try) as not to have regrets in the future….so..the question is- what is the most important to YOU?

  32. Hey, Phill..
    Just realise that it’s exactly last year post : )
    I just found your blog..
    And since i’m much younger than you, and we’re basically stranger, I can’t really say anything, since it’s your life..
    But, whatever path you decide to walk, I’m praying for the best for you, your family, and all the people around you.. 🙂
    Keep going! Fighting! Gbus 😁
    Have a nice day..

    P.s. would love to know the continuation of this post if you don’t mind.. About how a year can change your view or maybe not.. Cause I still have a lot to learn.. Thankyou ☺
    Maybe I should hope first that you’ll read this comment before asking for anything else.. Hah! Silly me..
    Have a nice day once again!


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